She said what?


I was finishing my morning ritual, big cup of pipping hot coffee and the news, when the phone rang. It was one of my closets friends, Merrie. She called in quite a tither. As I sat sipping the last drops of my delicious cinnamon coffee, when the zinger hit. What I was about to hear was surreal.   After an explanation of why she was so mad and down right in utter shock were the words her boss had said after a sting of minor mistakes. Through the cell airwaves reverberated the quote, "I don't know what goes on in that little head of yours, but not much." I was speechless.  Call me crazy but doesn't that fall in the bully category?  

As we have been witness to the suffering of children through bullying, it is never going to stop if adults, too, don't stop bullying adults. We have lived the tales of the playground. Sensitivity to one another and the approach in how we build a successful business stems from good management of a team. Then, how does a team stay together if we don't help one another. We are not going to stop the cycle unless we stop it. 

Then Merrie explained of how it continued the next day. Again, attacking her personally to her failing to do something right. This time, Merrie realized that she was in fact a true playground bully. She attacked when no one was in earshot of the "snap" so Merrie would not have a leg to stand on with the other bosses. She explained how after she went on a "quiet" rant, her boss took a breath, walked away then quickly turned back and politely asked if she wanted a cup of coffee from Starbucks. That she would pay. All happy, as if nothing ever happened.

After we spoke, I hung up and thought to myself, how can we, women "lean in", begin the re-emergence to the work force when we are getting attacked for learning by the mistakes that any new employee would. To morph is to grow and seek out new possibilities. As we hold great self-confidence in what we do everyday for our family, taking on the challenges of helping our children traverse through the experiences on the playground. Funny how, we, as adults still are faced with the same battles.  Could it be we will never learn to stop bullying?

Li Wang